How to Win Friends & Influence People

How to Win Friends &
Influence People
Dale Carnegie
Tim Calnon
Chair, Leadership Development Workgroup
Buffalo, 2013
Fundamental Techniques
in Handling People
• Don’t Criticize, Complain or Condemn
• Generate Importance
• Bait the hook to suit the fish
Six Ways to Make
People Like You
• Become Genuinely Interested in Others
• Smile 
• The Power of
Using a Name
Six Ways to Make
People Like You
• Be an Exceptional Listener!
• Talk in Terms of Other
People’s Interests
• Make the Other Person Feel Important –
and do it Sincerely
Be a Leader: How to Change
People Without Giving Offense or
Arousing Resentment
• Begin with Praise and Honest Appreciation
• Talk About Your Own Mistakes First
• Ask Questions
• Praise Any and All Improvement
Be a Leader: How to Change
People Without Giving Offense
or Arousing Resentment
• Praise Any and All Improvement
• Ask Questions
The One Thing You
Need to Know
Marcus Buckingham
Nancy R. Honeycutt, CAE
ASDA Executive Director
NLC Co-chair
Great Managing
Great Leading
Sustained Individual Success
Managing & Leading
What’s the difference?
Great Managers
The essence of great
management is not getting work
done through people but getting
people done through work.
Great Managers
• Turn one person’s talent into performance
• Serve the company by first serving the
employee through coaching
Great Managers
• Select good people
• Define clear expectations
• Recognize excellence & praise it
• Care for their employees
• Discover what’s unique & capitalize on it
Great Managers
Strong teams are built on interdependency
• I need you
• I rely on you
• I value you
You can do things I can’t do
Great Leaders
• The essence of great leadership is
striving to make others see a better
• Can persuade others to join together
to make this future come true
Great Leaders
• Have an image of the future clear in mind
• Can rally people to a better future
Great Leaders
• Remain focused on the future
• Are optimistic
• Have integrity
• Are dissatisfied with the status quo
• Impatient for progress
• Nothing can undermine their faith that things will
get better
Play both roles
Manage: begins with the person
Lead: picture of where you are headed
There is no “I” in “team”
-- an old cliche
There is an “I” in “win”
-- Michael Jordan
Individual Success
• What don’t you like doing? STOP doing it
• Cut out activities & people that pull you
off your path
Individual Success is your
Free to cultivate and refine your unique
areas of strength
Drive: The Surprising Truth
About What Motivates Us
Daniel Pink
LT Dan Hammer, DC, USN
2010-2011 District 11 Trustee
Pacific, 2011
Our third drive…
Harlow and Deci
The Rise and Fall of
Motivation 2.0
Carrots and Sticks do Not Work…
Most of the Time
Type X and Type I
• Motivation 2.0 is GONE…
Motivation 3.0 is HERE
• Three components of Type I
– Autonomy
– Mastery
– Purpose

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