Feedback WT1 Gender

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FEEDBACK
WRITTEN TASK 1
CRITERION A: RATIONALE
2 POINTS
In the rationale you must explain:
 Which part of the course you are responding to
 Which specific topic and texts you are exploring
 How your response is linked to the aspect of the course being
investigated
 What knowledge and understanding about the text and topic
you intend to demonstrate in your response
 The nature of the piece of writing you have chosen to
complete
 The formal conventions of the text type you have produced
and how they relate to the aims of the task
IB Language and Literature Guide
RATIONALE
In other words, you need to address:
 How does your response fit into the unit of study? What par t of the
course is it related to? What topic and text(s)?
 How does your imaginative response connect to the learning outcomes
of the course?
 What type of text have you chosen to create? Why? How does it relate
to your aims?
 What knowledge and understanding of the topic and text(s) do you
intend to demonstrate in your response?
 Who is the per sona writing/speaking?
 Who is your intended audience?
 What is the context in which this response would appear ? When are you
writing? Where will the writing be published (if relevant) ?
 What is the intended purpose of your response?
 What are the conventions of the type of writing you have produced?
 NB: rational ≠ rationale!
SAMPLE RATIONALE 1
I n c l a s s w e s t u d i e d a u n i t o n N e l s o n M a n d e l a a n d t h e e n d o f a p a r t h e i d i n S o u t h A f r i ca .
Fo r P a r t 2 w e l o o ke d a t h o w M a n d e l a u s e d l a n g ua g e to p e r s u a d e h i s a u d i e nc e to b e l i ev e
i n a n ew S o u t h A f r i c a . S p e c i fi ca l l y, I l o o ke d a t h i s 9 M ay 1 9 9 4 s p e e c h g i v e n i n C a p e
To w n a n d s t u d i e d t h e e f f e c t s o f i t s p e r s u a s i v e l a n g u a g e .
I w a n te d to s h o w h o w h i s w o r d s w e r e s t i l l r e l eva n t to a m o d e r n c o n tex t , w h e r e c r i m e
a n d p o v e r t y a r e p r o b l e m s i n S o u t h A f r i c a . T h e r e f o r e , I d e c i d e d to t a ke o n t h e r o l e o f
A n t j i e K r o g , a n A f r i ka n e r j o ur n a l i s t a n d l i te r a r y a u t h o r, a n d w r i te a s p e e c h w r i t te n f r o m
h e r p e r s p ec t i v e f o r a n A N C c o nv e n t i o n i n 2 01 4 , o n t h e 2 0 th a n n i v e r s a r y o f M a n d e l a ’s
i n a u g ur a t io n .
I f e e l t h a t w r i t in g t h i s s p e e c h m a d e m e l o o k b o t h c r i t i c al l y a t M a n d e l a ' s w o r d s a n d my
o w n , a s I a p p l i e d t h e r h eto r i ca l d ev i c e s a n d c o nv e n t io n s o f s p e e c h w r i t i n g t h a t w e
s t u d i e d i n c l a s s . I n my s p e e c h yo u w i l l n o t i c e ev i d e nc e o f et h o s i n t h e o p e n i n g
p a r a g r a p h s w h e r e I c o m m e n t o n K r o g ' s m a n d a te to s p e a k to t h e A N C . Yo u w i l l a l s o
n o t i c e p a t h o s , w h e r e I a p p e a l to t h e a u d i e n c e ' s s e n s e o f e m o t i o n by d e s c r i bi n g
M a n d e l a ' s s e n s e o f s e l f l e s s n e s s . Fu r t h e r m o r e t h e r e i s ev i d e nc e o f l o g o s , a s I a p p e a l to
t h e a u d i e n c e s s e n s e o f l o g i c b y a r g u i n g t h a t M a n d e l a ' s i d e a s a r e s t i l l r e l eva n t to d ay. A l l
i n a l l , I f e e l t h i s w a s a g o o d ex e rc i s e i n u n d e r s t a n d in g a n d w r i t i n g s p e e c h e s .
Wo r d c o u n t 2 3 6
SAMPLE RATIONALE 2
Fo r P a r t 2 o f my E n g l i s h c o u r s e w e s t u d i e d h o w w o m e n a r e p o r t r aye d b y t h e m e d i a . We
b e g a n b y v i ew i n g J e a n K i l b o ur n e ’ s K i l l i n g U s S o f t l y 3 a n d r e a d i n g K i l b o ur n e ’s b o o k T h e
M o r e Yo u S u b t r a c t , T h e M o r e Yo u A d d .
T h e C a l v i n K l e i n a d p i c t ur e d h e r e , t h e o n e t h a t I r e f e r to i n my w r i t te n t a s k , i s o n e I a l s o
u s e d f o r a n “ a d c r i t iq ue p r e s e n t a t io n ” ( I B f u r t h e r o r a l a c t i v i t y ) . We s p e n t t i m e i n c l a s s
a s k i n g o u r s e l ve s w h o w a s r e s p o n s i b le f o r s ev e r a l p r o b l e m s , i n c l ud in g t h e s o c i al
c o n s t r uc t i o n o f g e n d e r, b e a u t y a n d s ex ua l i t y to t h e o f te n d a n g e r o us b e h av i o r s
a d v e r t i s e m e n t s s e e m to p r o m ote ( e a t i n g d i s o r d e r s , o b j ec t i fi c a t io n o f w o m e n , v i o l e n c e
a g a i n s t w o m e n , hy p e r - m a s c ul in i t y, a n d o t h e r s ) . We a l s o d i s c us s e d w ay s i n w h i c h
i n d i v i d ua l s a n d g r o up s c a n r e s i s t t h e s e p r o b l em s a n d p r o m o te s o c i al c h a n g e .
A n o p i ni o n c o l um n s e e m e d to b e t h e i d e a l f o r um f o r m e to w r i te . I w a n te d to m o ve f r o m
t h e s p e c i fic p r o b l em s I s aw i n t h i s a d a n d s p e a k to t h e l a r g e r i s s ue s i t p o i n t s to . I r e a d
m a ny w r i te r s o f O p - E d s a n d d e c i d e d to m o d e l m i n e a f te r N e w Yo r k T i m e s c o l um ni s t
M a u r e e n D o w d b e c a u s e h e r v o i c e c o m b in e s c o m i c e l e m e n t s w i t h b i t i n g c o m m e n t a r y. H e r
c o l um n s , l i ke m a ny o t h e r O p - E d w r i te r s , a r e g r o un d e d i n t h e w r i te r ’ s p e r s o n a l l i fe . I t
c o n t ai n s n o t o n l y h e r o p i n i o n , b u t m a ny n ew s w o r t hy s t a t i s t i c s a n d a c a l l to a c t i o n .
I b e l i ev e t h a t I h av e m et s ev e r a l o f t h e l e a r n i n g o u t c o me s f o r P a r t 2 . I h av e ex a m i n e d
d i f fe r e n t f o r m s o f c o m m uni c a t i o n w i t hi n t h e m e d i a , b y l o o ki n g a t a r a n g e o f tex t s , f r o m
a d s a n d o p i ni o n c o l um n s to d o c um e n t a r i es a n d c o un ter a d s . I h av e a l s o s h o w n a n
aw a r e n e s s o f t h e p o te n t i a l f o r i d e o l o g i ca l i n f l ue n c e o f t h e m e d i a , b y l o o ki n g a t b o t h
s ex i s t a d s a n d c o un te r - p r o p a g a n d a , s u c h a s K i l b o ur n e ’s s p e e c h .
Wo r d c o u n t: 2 8 6
CRITERION B: TASK AND CONTENT
8 POINTS
 The point of the Written Task is to show that you understand the
topic that you have studied, the texts within this unit, as well as
the type of writing you have chosen to emulate.
 You need to provide examples from the text you are discussing to
support your claims
 You also need to have completed background research and
reading on the topic in order to become more informed - this
allows you to demonstrate a deeper level of understanding of the
topic
 Your piece of writing must look and sound like the type of writing
you are emulating. You must show an understanding of the
conventions of the text type chosen: sentence types, vocabular y,
tone, style, register, structure, layout, format.
 At HL, to get a 5/8 your response must be good (that is, of B
standard)
 At SL, to get a 5/8 your response must be adequate (that is, of C
standard)
AVOID SWEEPING STATEMENTS
Don’t make claims you cannot prove - your credibility as a writer
is undermined.
 “Teenagers seem to be the most prevalent on the Internet.”
 Everywhere I go I hear criticism from everyone.”
 “Everyday we see students and young people holding a
smartphone in their hand, staring into their monitor and
typing furiously while walking to their bus stop .”
Modify the statement to make it more plausible:
 These days it is common to see students and young people
walking the streets of inner city Seoul, smartphone in hand,
typing furiously.”
CRITERION C: ORGANISATION
5 POINTS
Ideas must be organised in a logical manner and linked
cohesively. Consider:
 What is the point you are trying to communicate in your
written task?
 What is the point of each paragraph?
 How does one paragraph connect to the next?
 How have you linked ideas within paragraphs? How does one
sentence connect to the next?
 Use short paragraphs and short sentences for greater clarity
CRITERION D: LANGUAGE AND ST YLE
5 POINTS
 Proof read CAREFULLY! Spelling, grammar and punctuation
MATTER!
 Choose each word carefully - it should be there for a reason.
 Check verb/subject agreement
 Check preposition usage
 Check that you have used verb tense correctly
 Eliminate the verb “to be” eg “I will be producing” I will
produce”; “I was starting”  “I started”; “he is waiting” 
he waits”
 Avoid long, run-on sentences; use short sentences instead
 Avoid beginning sentences with “it is”, “it was”, “there is”,
“there was”
CRITERION D: LANGUAGE AND ST YLE
5 POINTS
 Eliminate the pronoun “it” wherever possible:
 “By depicting women in this particular way, it seems to grab the
attention especially of the boys on the models .”
 Depicting women in this way, grabs the attention of the boys because
???.
 Use active voice, not passive:
 eg “It will be written from the point of view of a teenager who likes
rap music”  “I have adopted the persona of a teenager who likes
rap music.”
 “Italicise titles of newspapers or magazines
 eg The Huffington Post, The Telegraph
ENSURE YOUR WRITING MAKES SENSE!
 “An interview is what I will be producing in order to show my
ability of being able to not only respond to questions but as
well as make questions that will benefit the responses of the
“artist”.
 “My main aim is to find relationships between the topic and
the text in order to connect them in a deeper way or past the
liberal senses.”

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