DIALOGUE DIALOGUE What does ‘Dialogue’ mean to you? WHAT DOES DIALOGUE MEAN TO YOU? A – General Discussion B – Random thoughts C – Focused problem solving D – Diverse team discussion E – Open communication on specific topic PROPOSED DEFINITION Dialogue – People engaging in participatory thought SOME DESCRIPTORS Non-judgmental Non-defensive Listening Understanding No agendas Intent of best answer Ideas without connection to those ideas Flow EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Growing You Self-Awareness Self-Management Serving Others Relationship Awareness Relationship Management THE GOAL IS TO BE PRESENT For all members to be openly participate we need to be: • Self-aware • Relationship-aware We must be Present • Non-Judgmental • Only one conversation • Understand OPEN HEAR CONNECT BE OPEN Two Potential Issues • The past shades the present (judging current statements based on history) • Personal connection to ‘my’ idea BE OPEN How can past experiences shade current realities? • • • • • A – Does not allow for people to change B – Limits our view of what is really happening C – Reduces our ability to hear what is really being said D – Discounts things different that our past experiences E – Reduces trust Are you always aware of such shading? LADDER OF INFERENCE Action Beliefs Conclusions Assumptions Affix Meaning Data/Experience BE OPEN Action As we walk up the ladder, where can we make mistakes? How can avoid each of these mistakes? Beliefs Conclusions Assumptions Affix Meaning Data/Experience LADDER OF INFERENCE We certainly need to add meaning, however we can improve communications in three ways… • Awareness of thinking/reasoning (reflection) • Visibility of thinking/reasoning (advocacy) • Inquiring into other’s thinking/reasoning (inquiry) LADDER OF INFERENCE Questions that can help… • • • • • What is the observable data? Does everyone agree on that data? Can you run me through your reasoning? How did you get from the data to these assumptions? When you said “[your inference]”, did you mean “[my interpretation]”? LADDER OF INFERENCE How we view the world and how we act influence… • What we select to “see” • Our interpretations • Our conclusions This leads us to act in ways that produce results which usually reinforce the conclusions we made. BE OPEN Two Potential Issues • The past shades the present • Personal connection to ‘my’ idea LET’S START WITH YOU The goal is for you to be ‘Present’ Present – • Non-Judgmental • Only one conversation • Understand OPEN HEAR CONNECT HEAR When speaking with someone, how many conversations are going on? A – one B – two C – three D – More than three HEAR Getting it to ONE • First, stop other subjects • If you can’t, reschedule the new subject • Stay focused • Catch internal diversions • Bring yourself back • Relevant thoughts are good • This is where we will connect next… LET’S START WITH YOU The goal is for you to be ‘Present’ Present – • Non-Judgmental • Only one conversation • Understand OPEN HEAR CONNECT CONNECT We must always search for understanding. Thoughts are connected when we understand. Lessons only exist in difference. Curiosity rather than Certainty CONNECT Tactics: • Repeat their thought to confirm listening and understanding – “If I understand you correctly…” • Write down relevant thoughts and questions about their thoughts • Pause the discussion for clarity or to add a thought LET’S START WITH YOU The goal is for you to be ‘Present’ Present – • Non-Judgmental • Only one conversation • Understand OPEN HEAR CONNECT SUMMARY - BEING PRESENT TO ACHIEVE DIALOGUE We have covered a lot of ground … • Be Open • Don’t carry history to the present • Hear • Only one conversation • Connect • Combine thoughts THANK YOU Your leadership and teamwork can achieve superhuman results.