• Anger Recap:
– Express righteous anger.
• Is it about you, or external to you?
• Is your aim to improve others or glorify God?
– Defuse unrighteous anger.
• Wanting more at the cross?
• The lightning strike and the termite.
Series Outline
• What is it?
• What does it do to me?
• How do I kill it?
Secret Weapon Recap
• Fear
– Love
• Discouragement
– Humility
• Loneliness
– Introspection
• Guilt
– Acceptance
• Worry
– Shame
• Temptation
– Cowardice
• Anger
– Burning
• Resentment
– Mortality
What is it?
• Going postal.
– How many neighbors report: “Yeah, saw that
coming a mile away…”
• In actuality, the signs are almost always
– We overlook or ignore them out of fear of
being the next target, or out of shame for our
own indulgences in bitterness.
• Yes, the emotional septic tank!
What is it?
• “Logizomai” – To calculate or to reckon.
– God has the right to enter into a ledger our
transgressions for those apart from Christ.
– We do not get to claim love if we attempt to
do the same.
– Love “thinks no evil.”
– Love “keeps no record of wrongs.”
• I Corinthians 13:5(b)
What is it?
• You may think resentment is your own
internal issue, but it communicates to God:
– Go ahead and forgive him if you want to, but
“the State of Mississippi ain’t so forgivin’…”
– “Your blood wasn’t quite enough.”
– “I hold some form of superiority over You.”
What does it do to me?
• Resentment destroys you spiritually from
the inside out and invariably causes
damage to those around you.
– Pursue peace with all people, and holiness,
without which no one will see the Lord:
looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the
grace of God; lest any root of bitterness
springing up cause trouble, and by this many
become defiled;
Hebrews 12:14-15
– (Romans 12:18)
What does it do to me?
• Resentment is also, unfortunately, an
heirloom disease.
– Volunteer reading: 1 Kings 2:1-6
• According to Jesus’ standard, good King
David committed murder twice in his life.
What does it do to me?
• Resentment exacts a terrible physical toll
on its master.
– Ironically, resentment is directed outward, but
damages inward as its target operates freely
from direct contact with your wrath.
• Resentment has a tendency to rewire your
very thinking, causing deep damage that is
difficult to reverse.
– Corrie Ten Boom and the Nazi Guard.
What does it do to me?
• Resentment feeds on the power of the
false illusion that you are the one in
• You like to somehow reckon that you have
the upper hand…the triumphant silent
sufferer…are somehow righteous in it.
• Acid Test:
– If confronted with a request to forgive, how
would you respond? This tells you if you are
truly “in control” of these feelings.
How do I kill it?
• You must understand the GRAVITY of
resentment in God’s eyes.
• Some of the most serious and severe
warnings from Jesus have to do with an
unforgiving heart. Why?
• The Bible commends us to turn the cheek,
walk an extra mile, heap kindness upon
• Scriptures scream with the warning to turn
back from this giant! Why?
How do I kill it?
• Scattered throughout the first Book of
“Good News” is some very bad news about
an unforgiving heart.
• The if-then relationships suggested by
Jesus are hard to process.
• Salvation is not through works, but Jesus is
clearly showing a linkage between your
willingness to forgive and your capacity to
receive forgiveness from God.
How do I kill it?
• Worst-case scenario:
– Failing to forgive others is a sign that you have
not truly repented and are not living a life in
– Unlike “typical” Christian sins (periodic or
passionate failures), resentment is a chosen
lifestyle of long-term disobedience.
– When we turn to Christ, we repent of our sin
and we ask Him to change our hearts and lives
to live under His power.
How do I kill it?
• Best-case scenario:
– As in the history of Israel in the Old Testament,
God withholds His fellowship and blessing in a
loving effort to correct His children and restore
the broken relationship.
• NEITHER alternative is particularly pleasant
compared to the chore of surrendering
How do I kill it?
• STEP 1: Think it through.
– Do you fantasize about catching your prey in
the right circumstances so that you can enjoy
the sweet taste of victory?
– Do you desire pain and/or suffering equal or
greater than your own?
– Do you regard yourself with pride as being the
superior party in an unresolved conflict?
How do I kill it?
• STEP 2: Write it down.
– You might be surprised or disappointed about
how your pent-up offense looks on paper.
– Often, the scope and injustice stored in one’s
mind does not conform with reality.
– Imagine yourself before the cross of Christ,
pleading your case as he bears your sins and
those of whom you are accusing.
How do I kill it?
• STEP 3: Work it out.
– Buy yourself a punching bag.
– Start with little steps…set up code-words or
practices with your spouse to defuse anger as
it happens.
– PRAY ABOUT IT! Ask God to take it from you.
• Cross-reference the Giant of Temptation. God will
answer your prayer!
How do I kill it?
• STEP 4: Talk it over.
– Talk to God about it, in every glorious detail.
– He already knows about it!
– Seek God’s forgiveness for your own sins.
• Bitterness and resentment are often signs of
PERSONAL unforgiveness.
• Do you have something you haven’t forgiven
yourself for?
How do I kill it?
• STEP 5: Give it up.
– Clara Barton: “I distinctly remember forgetting
– Ridding yourself of resentment is an active and
deliberate step on your part.
– It may or may not involve direct confrontation
with its target.
• Does a relationship need to be restored?
• Would the person be shocked, embarrassed, or
otherwise taken down by the revelation?
• Easier: Do they know about it?
Kill Shot
• DO NOT FLIRT with what God means by
withholding forgiveness as you withhold it.
• DO NOT put yourself on a pedestal where
you demand a higher standard for
forgiveness than Jesus did.
• DO actively seek to rid your heart of
resentment through prayer, more prayer,
reconciliation, and then some more prayer.

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