7 rules for a clean fight

Report
Relationship
The closer they get to each other,
The
Porcupine
Dilemma
the more
likely they are
to get hurt.
How to
Handle
ANGER
Psalm 133: 1
“Behold, How good and how
pleasant it is for brothers to
dwell together in unity!”
Ephesians 4: 1-3
1. I, therefore, the prisoner of the
Lord, entreat you to walk in a
manner worthy of the calling with
which you have been called,
2. with all humility and gentleness,
with patience, showing forbearance
to one another in love,
3. being diligent to preserve the unity
of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
All of us are
responsible to maintain
If ourthis
brotherunity:
has sinned …
Matthew 18: 15-17
“If your brother sins … go and show him
his fault in private…”
Galatians 6: 1-5
“if anyone is caught in a trespass,
you…restore such a one…”
All of us are
responsible to maintain
this unity:
Whether YOU have sinned or not …
Matthew 5: 23-24
“If you know that your brother has
something against you … leave your
offering … be reconciled … then …”
Summary:
Romans 12: 18
“As far as it depends on you,
Be at peace with all men.”
Resolving Conflict
Let’s Do It God’s Way!
Rules for a
Clean Fight
based on Ephesians 4: 25-32
(adapted from Strike the Original Match, by Chuck Swindoll)
1.Make a commitment to
Honesty and Truth
truth
(Eph. 4: 25) “Speak _______________
to one another. . .
members of one another.”
for we are _______________
This is a 2 way pursuit
(1) Seek the truth
(2) Speak the truth
deeper understanding
Our goal must be for deeper ______________________
WIN
NOT to _______________
the argument,
we BOTH lose
or else _____________________________
!
defensive
Don’t get ____________________
!
each other are coming from.
Try to understand where _____________
2. Deal with it A.S.A.P.
(But, … Before you begin,
you must Both agree
that the time is right!)
(Eph. 4: 26-27) “Do not let the sun
go down on your wrath, and do not
give the devil an opportunity
________________________________!”
Deal with it A.S.A.P. !
If not now . . . then decide
When will it be a good time? Then schedule it!
_____________________________________
And make it SOON.
3. Make sure your
weapons are not deadly!
• Eph. 4: 26
do not sin
“Be angry, yet ________________”
• James 3: 5-8
Deadly poison
“the tongue is full of _____________________...”
REMEMBER:
WORDS CAN KILL!!!!!
• John 1: 14
grace
truth
Jesus was full of “_____________
and ___________”
4. Don’t raise your voice
or lose self control.
Ephesians 4: 29
good for edification
Only say what is ___________________
…
according to the need of the moment!
Proverbs 15: 1
turns away wrath
“A soft answer ___________________
.”
4. Don’t raise your voice
or lose self control.
You can still say what needs to
be said, but speak gently, with
kindness and grace,
tact
(i.e. “___________”)
Colossians 4: 6
“Let your speech always be with grace,
seasoned with salt …”
as though ____________________
5. Never reveal
private matters
in public!
Ephesians 4: 31
“Let all bitterness, wrath, . . . and slander
away from you
be put _____________…”
Dont’ go around trying to get your
friends to take sides with you.
gossip
(that’s called “___________”)
6. Respect each
other’s limits.
The Principle:
Ephesians 4: 32
“Be kind to one another,
tender-hearted …”
_________________,
6. Respect each
other’s limits.
Example:
Agree to STOP when someone
says, “STOP!”
Ephesians 4: 29
“only words that are good for
building each other up
________________________.”
6. Respect each
other’s limits.
Excellent & challenging verses:
−Ephesians 4: 2 - 3
−Philippians 2: 3 - 4
−Colossians 3: 12 - 14
7. Once the issue is
resolved, help seek
forgiveness and
restoration.
Ephesians 4: 32
“…forgive each other …
JUST AS
God in Christ has forgiven you
_______________________________!”
7. Once the issue is
resolved, help seek
forgiveness and
restoration.
How has God forgiven us?
Fully
Finally
Freely
Forever
Psalm 103: 11 – 12
“As far as the EAST is from the WEST,
so far has He removed our
transgressions from us.”
7. Once the issue is
resolved, help seek
forgiveness and
restoration.
70
X
7
forgive,
forgive
forgive
forgive,
forgive
forgive
forgive
forgive
And don’t
bring the issue up again, UNTIL …
forgive
You BOTH agree that you need to discuss it again!
Personal
Application:
Looking back at the last time you were
angry or had to resolve a conflict
with someone . . .
• Which of the 7 rules did you find it
most difficult to practice?
(choose 1 or 2)
• What specific things can you do to
better practice that rule?

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