Rochelle Ritzi, MS, LPC Megan Krizan, M.Ed, LPC Intern, Doctoral Counseling Student, under the supervision of UNT Brandy Schumann, PhD, LPCS, NCC, RPTS [email protected] [email protected] www.tots.pro www.tots.pro Difficult topics with staff and parents A practical look at personality The staff/parent (personality) you dread How different personalities can compliment or clash How to deliver difficult information so it can be received Behavioral problems Usually a combination Academic struggles Complaints Concerns What is your uncensored reaction to feedback? How would you like difficult information to be delivered to you? Rejection and hassles Criticism and ridicule Doing things that are meaningless and unimportant Stress and pain Lott, L (n.d.); Nelson, Lott & Glenn (2000); Positive Discipline (2011) If you dislike most: Rejection and hassles Chameleon Criticism and ridicule Lion Meaningless and unimportance Eagle Stress and Pain Turtle If you dislike most: Rejection & hassles You probably... Say yes and mean no Fear confrontation Give in easily Worry of being disliked Try to fix everything to make others happy Whine & complain Work hard Super reasonable Are known to accommodate and be super reasonable Make lists Pleaser If you dislike most Criticism and ridicule You probably… Hold back your emotions Boss others Are organized Argue Get quiet and wait for Control others to coax you Do things yourself Cover all bases before you act Complain, sigh, procrastinate Get angry, explain/defend Engage in physical activity Put up a wall If you dislike most: Doing things that are meaningless and unimportant You probably... Overdo it, take on too much Worry about doing better Become the expert Seek advocates Fight to prove your point Can be stubborn Put down people or things, including self Cry, scream, or complain to others (about the absurdity of life/others) Correct others Operate on “shoulds” Superiority If you dislike most: Stress and pain You probably… Make jokes, use humor often Intellectualize Do only things you already Comfort do well Avoid new experiences Take the path of least resistance Leave sentences incomplete Avoid risks Hide so others don’t see imperfections Overreact Complain, cry, scream Micromanage and spoil others Don’t ask for help Tuck into your shell, attack like a snapping turtle Close up your heart As a group, decide: 1. What concern/behavior/academic problem would be most difficult to deliver? Why? 2. Which staff/parent/animal do you like working with LEAST? Why? To receive difficult information: Chameleons (pleaser) need: Feel cared for Approval Lions (control) need: Choices (help determine solution) To lead Asked how they feel Given time/space to process information Eagles (superiority) need: To be recognized To be thanked Told they are right Help getting started (with a small step) Turtle (comfort) need: To not be interrupted For you to invite their comments Listened to Know that you believe in them/their child Encouraged Eagle and an Eagle Chameleon and a Turtle Lion and Turtle Others? 1. Child not ready for Kindergarten 2. Complaint against staff member (impatient with child) Understand yourself Send a message of care Figure out what is needed by imagining same animal in your life Use “similar” instead of “I think he has” Learn about your student’s parent(s)/guardian(s) Make notes after “meet the teacher” What “animal” are they? What do they need from you when hearing difficult information? [email protected] [email protected] Therapy on the Square 114 E. Louisiana, Ste. 201 McKinney, TX 75069 www.tots.pro 972-886-8375 office How to Help a Child Grieve I Thought I Knew My Child… Keys to Understanding Your Child’s Behavior Discipline Can Be Positive! Learn How to Avoid Pitfalls in Punishment How to Accept a Child When You Don’t Accept His/Her Behavior How to Have Family (or Class) Meetings Positive Discipline Play – Understanding the Language of Children Connecting and Redirecting: Understanding Misbehavior in Your Classroom and What to Do About It. Lott, L. (n.d.). Retrieved August 20, 2011, from http://www.lynnlott.com/tryit/websiteTopCard2.htm Nelson, J., Lott, L., & Glenn, S. (2000). Positive discipline in the classroom. (3rd ed.). New York, NY: Three Rivers Press. Positive Discipline. (2011). Retrieved August 20, 2011, from http://positivediscipline.com Questions?