Chapter 3 Effective Parenting Skills Section 3-1 What Is Parenting? • Parenting is caring for children and helping them develop. – Judgment requirements: • Knowing when to help and when to back off • Avoiding pushing a child to try activities they are not ready for, but not holding back out of fear • Adapting parenting at each stage – Reasonable expectations leads to effective parenting. “Act your age.” --more often than not they are. A parents expectations will influence how they respond to a child Parenting Sytles • Authoritarian Style: Children should obey their parents without question. BrokenWhen rules are broken parent responds quickly and firmly • Democratic style: Children have some input into rules and limits. • Permissive Syle: Children have a wide range of freedom…children set rules (most parents follow a combination of styles Tasks of Parenting • Meeting Children’s Needs – – – – – – Food, clothing and shelter Safety and health Teaching language Foster intellectual growth Getting along with others Love and be loved • Nurturing – encouraging and enriching a child’s life by giving them ample opportunity to explore and imitate. – Deprivation – lack of an enriching environment can lead to a child lagging behind in their development. (For example we learning taking place at specific ages. Missed “windows of opportunity may make the learning process more difficult) The other part of nurturing is love and support. (Hugs lower stress. ) Communicating Positively • • • • • • Use understandable words, don’t talk down Be clear – child’s point of view Be positive and polite Give praise and love Limit directions to those that are esseential Use meaningful conversation (That pictures incredible) Section 3-2 Guiding Children’s Behavior • Guidance: using firmness and understanding to help children learn to control their own behavior – should produce self-discipline – Consistency is key – clearly making rules and applying them the same in all situations ( Trust vs confusion) All caretakers on board – Effective guidance: • Encourage appropriate behavior • Set and enforce limits • Deal with inappropriate behavior in effective ways Encouraging Appropriate Behavior • Set a good example (Be polite and they will follow) • Tell what is expected • Praise appropriate behavior (Positive reinforcement encourages a particular behavior) – – – – Be specific (Great job putting away your toys) Recognize behavior right away Recognize even little steps Tailor encouragement • Offer choices – (Two outfits to choose from, share or take your toys and play in your room) Setting Limits • Should keep child from hurting self, others, or property – Should allow growth, not too restrictive – Fair and appropriate for age – Child benefit vs. adults convenience • Make limits clear • Steps: – Show understanding of child’s desire – Set and explain limit – Acknowledge child’s feelings – Give alternatives Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior • Questions to ask: – Is the expected behavior appropriate, given the child’s development? – Does the child understand that the behavior is wrong? – Was the behavior done knowingly and deliberately or was it beyond child’s control? • Behavior done accidentally or without knowing it was wrong should not be punished • Deliberate behavior may require punishment – negative reinforcement – Natural consequences – Loss of privileges – Giving time-out (one minute for each year of age) Poor Disciplinary Measures • Bribing – teaches child to expect rewards for ending bad behavior (not to be confused with encouraging good behavior) • Making children promise to behave – may lead to lying • Shouting or yelling (fear or tune out) • Shaming or belittling • Threatening to withhold love (Dealing with conflict – encourage child to use words, speak calmly, or count to ten ) Assignment • Create a magazine advertisement that promotes handling conflict in a healthy manner. OR Create a comic strip that addresses the questions a caregiver should ask before responding to misbehavior. Create specific examples that deal with each question.