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Chapter 3
Effective Parenting Skills
Section 3-1 What Is Parenting?
• Parenting is caring for children and helping them
develop.
– Judgment requirements:
• Knowing when to help and when to back off
• Avoiding pushing a child to try activities they are not ready
for, but not holding back out of fear
• Adapting parenting at each stage
– Reasonable expectations leads to effective parenting.
“Act your age.” --more often than not they are. A
parents expectations will influence how they respond
to a child
Parenting Sytles
• Authoritarian Style: Children should obey their
parents without question. BrokenWhen rules
are broken parent responds quickly and firmly
• Democratic style: Children have some input
into rules and limits.
• Permissive Syle: Children have a wide range of
freedom…children set rules
(most parents follow a combination of styles
Tasks of Parenting
• Meeting Children’s Needs
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Food, clothing and shelter
Safety and health
Teaching language
Foster intellectual growth
Getting along with others
Love and be loved
• Nurturing – encouraging and enriching a child’s life by
giving them ample opportunity to explore and imitate.
– Deprivation – lack of an enriching environment can lead to a
child lagging behind in their development. (For example we
learning taking place at specific ages. Missed “windows of
opportunity may make the learning process more difficult)
The other part of nurturing is love and support. (Hugs lower
stress. )
Communicating Positively
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Use understandable words, don’t talk down
Be clear – child’s point of view
Be positive and polite
Give praise and love
Limit directions to those that are esseential
Use meaningful conversation (That pictures
incredible)
Section 3-2 Guiding Children’s
Behavior
• Guidance: using firmness and understanding
to help children learn to control their own
behavior – should produce self-discipline
– Consistency is key – clearly making rules and
applying them the same in all situations ( Trust vs
confusion) All caretakers on board
– Effective guidance:
• Encourage appropriate behavior
• Set and enforce limits
• Deal with inappropriate behavior in effective ways
Encouraging Appropriate Behavior
• Set a good example (Be polite and they will
follow)
• Tell what is expected
• Praise appropriate behavior (Positive
reinforcement encourages a particular behavior)
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Be specific (Great job putting away your toys)
Recognize behavior right away
Recognize even little steps
Tailor encouragement
• Offer choices – (Two outfits to choose from, share
or take your toys and play in your room)
Setting Limits
• Should keep child from hurting self, others, or
property
– Should allow growth, not too restrictive
– Fair and appropriate for age
– Child benefit vs. adults convenience
• Make limits clear
• Steps:
– Show understanding of child’s desire
– Set and explain limit
– Acknowledge child’s feelings
– Give alternatives
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior
• Questions to ask:
– Is the expected behavior appropriate, given the child’s
development?
– Does the child understand that the behavior is wrong?
– Was the behavior done knowingly and deliberately or
was it beyond child’s control?
• Behavior done accidentally or without knowing it was wrong
should not be punished
• Deliberate behavior may require punishment – negative
reinforcement
– Natural consequences
– Loss of privileges
– Giving time-out (one minute for each year of age)
Poor Disciplinary Measures
• Bribing – teaches child to expect rewards for
ending bad behavior (not to be confused with
encouraging good behavior)
• Making children promise to behave – may
lead to lying
• Shouting or yelling (fear or tune out)
• Shaming or belittling
• Threatening to withhold love
(Dealing with conflict – encourage child to use
words, speak calmly, or count to ten )
Assignment
• Create a magazine advertisement that
promotes handling conflict in a healthy
manner.
OR
Create a comic strip that addresses the
questions a caregiver should ask before
responding to misbehavior. Create specific
examples that deal with each question.

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