Inside out approach to bullying prevention

Tracy Longwill and Brooke Tafoya
Role Groups
Background knowledge and experience in bullying
What is bullying?
Bullying is aggressive behavior that is intentional and that
involves an imbalance of power or strength. Typically, it is
repeated over time. Stop Bullying Now!
"A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly
and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more
other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or
herself." Olweus
Bullying is unfair and one sided behavior. It happens when
someone keeps hurting, frightening, threatening, or leaving
someone out on purpose, in person or via multi-media. APS and
Bernalillo County
What is bullying?
Bullying can take three forms…
Taking personal
Malicious teasing
Name calling
Making threats
• Spreading rumors
• Manipulating social
• Engaging in social
• Extortion or intimidation
Which is easiest to see?
Which causes the most harm?
Which do your current rules address?
What is bullying?
Key Components
 Imbalance
of power: Involved parties feel differently
about the outcome
 Target
feels scared, afraid, or hurt
 Aggressor feels empowered or unconcerned
 Happens
over a period of time
Bullying is NOT
A conflict to be mediated. This sends the message
that both parties are responsible
Rite of passage or a normal part of growing up
Harmless fun
About anger
Differences between conflict and bullying
Equal power – friends
Imbalance of power – not friends
Happens occasionally
Repeated negative actions
Not serious
Serious – threat of physical harm or
emotional or psychological hurt
Equal emotional reaction
Strong emotional reaction on part of the
Not seeking power or attention
Seeking power and control
Not trying to get something
Trying to gain material things or power
Remorse – takes responsibility
No remorse – blames target
Effort to solve the problem
No effort to solve the problem
Stand Up Exercise
Stand if you have had experience with any of the
statements read
•When you stood how did it make you feel?
•Was there anything surprising?
What is bullying?
Acts of
• Genocide, Terrorism, Murder, Arson
Acts of Prejudice and
Acts of Bias
Assault & Battery
• Social exclusion or Harassment
• Discrimination: employment,
housing, educational
• Scapegoating, Slurs, Namecalling, Social Avoidance
• Engaging in
• Screening out positive
Where do you fit? Card exercise
Man box and Lady box
Implications of Being Bullied
I shall remember forever and will never forget
Monday: my money was taken.
Tuesday: names called.
Wednesday: my uniform torn.
Thursday: my body pouring with blood.
Friday: it’s ended.
Saturday: freedom.
The final diary pages of thirteen-year old Vijay Singh. He was
found hanging from the banister rail at home on Sunday.
Bullycide, Death at Playtime: An Expose of Child Suicide Caused by Bullying. Neil Marr and Tim Field
What New Mexico Youth Tell Us
2009 New Mexico Youth Risk and Resiliency Survey
E:\YRRS 2009.pdf
Where do you fit? Card exercise
Ice Breaker
Builds empathy/knowledge
Addresses peer pressure
Address traditional roles and try something new
Man box and Lady box
Addresses gender stereotypes
Pressure expected gender roles can place on a person
TIPS to Stop Bullying for Youth
• Keep yourself safe. NEVER put yourself in a situation where you could get hurt
• Get help. Tell a trusted adult if you see someone in trouble.
• Support by offering to help them pick up their books, take them to someone who can help,
there is power in numbers, just stand beside the person, ask other friends to support
the person).
• Support the target by asking them to join in an activity with you (let’s go…, do you want
to go get a drink of water?).
• Distract Tell the aggressor you don’t like talking about people or change the subject.
• Support the person who is being bullied by changing the subject to something other than
talking about or hurting someone (Did you bring your lunch today?, Wow, look at
that…, Watch out here comes a teacher)
• Reason with the aggressor, “You might get into trouble, if you keep bothering that person”
or “you might get kicked off the basketball team and we really need you.”
What Should Caring Adults Do
 Listen
 Brainstorm
possible actions and consequences
 Encourage, rather than direct
 Let youth decide the course of action
TIPS for Parents
Focus on your child. Be supportive, listen and gather information about the incident.
Never tell your child to ignore bullying.
What the child may “hear” is that you are going to ignore it. If your child were able
to simply ignore it, he or she likely would not have told you about it. Often, trying to
ignore bullying allows it to become more serious.
Contact your child’s teacher or principal to report bullying and to find out about
the school’s bullying prevention plan.
Keep your emotions in check. Give factual information about your child’s
experience of being bullied, including who, what, when, where and how.
Help your child become more resilient. Talk to your child about being friends with
certain people and knowing which friends he or she can count on. Encourage
positive relationships by encouraging your child to hang out with kids that make
them feel good about themselves.
TIPS for Adults in Creating a Culture of
Adults know less about bullying situations than youth do.
Identify, teach and re-teach expected pro-social behaviors through
role play and practice.
Here are some recommended rules:
• We will not bully others.
• We will try to help students who are bullied.
• We will make it a point to include students who are easily left out.
• If we know someone is being bullied, we will tell an adult.
Create a Culture of Respect
Every adult needs to be able to intervene quickly & follow up with each party.
Use information from questionnaire to identify areas in need of attention.
Integrate themes into every activity.
Best Practice Tips for Investigating a
Bullying Incident
Talk with each party separately
Affirm the child’s feelings
Ask Questions: Get information about the current situation and the
history of the situation.
Identify what has and has not worked in the past.
Generate solutions for the future, and create a plan with the child.
Discuss how the child can avoid the student in the future
Coach the student in using assertive refusal skills
Identify others who can support the child
See how the plan is working
Contact parents as appropriate
Refer more serious or chronic cases to an administrator or counselor
Why is Cyber-bullying Unique?
How does cyber-bullying compare to
traditional bullying?
Can not see
the target’s
happen at
any time
quickly to a
Framing the Issue
Why is anonymous aggression different?
 Anonymity
 People
effects the content of the message
act differently when they are not accountable for their
 Do not have to see person’s pain
 Anonymity
effects the way the message is received
 Target
has no way to know if it is a group or an individual
 Known enemies are less frightening than unknown
 Can change relationships with multiple suspected friends
Kowalski and Limber (2007). Electronic Bullying Among Middle School Students. Journ of Adol Health
41. S22-S30
Cyberbullying in the United States
93% of adolescents have access to the internet through
computer or cell phone use
1 in 3 children has been bullied online by someone they
1 in 3 has been bullied while playing an online game
1 in 2 have been bullied by cell phone
Almost half have been bullied on the social networking
site, Facebook
13% of teens have received naked or semi-naked
images from someone in school
8% have sent them
Dr. Sameer Hinduja- Co-Director of the Cyberbullying Research Center of Florida Altantic University, 2010
Effects of Cyberbullying
Negative Emotions
 Sadness
 Hurt feelings
 Embarrassed
 Afraid
Negative Behaviors
Poor concentration
 Low school achievement
 Absenteeism from school
 Retaliatory anti-social behavior
Help Young People Navigate Technology
 Behavior
online should be the same as what you would
do in person.
 If
your grandma could see what you do online, would you
do it?
 Would it be okay if I did this in a face-to-face interaction?
 How does this action reflect on me?
 Adults
can model appropriate interactions with
technology for young people
Help Young People Navigate Technology
Coping Skills
Responding with anger shows that someone has hurt or done
something that bothers you
 Tell them to stop
 Instead of focusing on all of the people who seem to be
against you, focus on those who care and support you
Cyber-foot prints
 Legal ramifications of cyber threats
 YouTube as evidence
Alex Wonder Kid Cyber Detective Agency
 E:\Alex_WonderV1.1.air
Cyber-bullying Youth Tips
Don’t initiate, respond to, or forward harmful messages
If something mean is posted or texted about you, don’t
respond immediately, take a breath and give yourself
time to think through your next step. Don’t react
Keep intimate and personal info- private
Think about your reputation- would you want—
grandma, teacher, future employer, someone you don’t
know—to see that?
If you feel uncomfortable, trust your gut, save and tell
an adult
Don’t meet unknown internet friends without talking to
your parents or another adult about it
Cyber-bullying School Tips
Teach social skills - much of the same work that is done for
bullying is relevant to this work, but online education should
be added to bullying prevention curriculums
Develop a needs assessment to better understand the
problem from students’ and teachers’ perspectives
Conduct a policy and practice review…if you don’t have
policies, develop them
Provide annual professional development about technology,
youth development, and bullying prevention
Inform youth about legal limits
Cyber-bullying Parent Tips
Ask your child questions, maintain an open dialogue.
Keep computer in a common room.
Talk about your expectations regarding acceptable
online/phone behavior before they receive the privilege.
Behavior online should be the same as what you would do in
person or in front of someone you respect.
Make agreements and set boundaries about accepted use and
behavior for online/phone communication. Often youth don’t tell
parents because they fear losing technology privileges.
Help child think through how the information they put online
reflects on them.
Inform youth about legal limits and future consequences of
harmful posting online or by phone.
Ask your child to teach you about programs and technologies
you don’t understand or of which you don’t have familiarity.
What is APS doing?
District-wide Discipline/Bullying Prevention Plan
Safe School Healthy Students Initiative
 Bullying
Prevention Campaign
 Funding for Prevention service
 Brochure for Parents
 Materials and Training
 Website
 25
What is APS doing?
Prevention Programs
 Steps
to Respect
 Second Step
 Rachel’s Challenge
 Safe School Ambassadors
 Why Try?
Contact Information
 Tracy
Longwill, APS Safety Resource Counselor
 [email protected],
 Brooke
Tafoya, SSHS Coordinator
 [email protected],
Find resources and handouts at:
Tips, Power Point and Resources
Resource List
Bullyproof Your Child for Life. Joel Haber. *2007).
The Bully, the Bullied & the Bystander. Barbara Coloroso. (2008).
Cyberbullying: What Counselors Need to Know. Sheri Bauman. (2011).
Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats. Nancy E. Willard. (2007).
Websites: (English or Spanish)
Resource List continued
1&playnext_from=PL&index=16 Alex Wonder Kid Cyber Detective
(resources for Spanish-speaking families)
A Final Thought
Cowardice asks the question: is it safe?
Expediency asks the question: is it politic?
Vanity asks the question: is it popular?
But conscience asks the question: is it right? And there
comes a time when one must take a position that is
neither safe, nor politic, nor popular-but one must take
it because it’s right.
-Martin Luther King Jr.

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